At any given point on Michigan Avenue, there are at least ten people looking for money. Sometimes they’re homeless. Sometimes they want you to sign up for some bogus spa package (they get you for this one by asking where you get your hair done). Sometimes they want you to donate money to Greenpeace or Save The Children or whatever other organization desperately needs your donation at that exact moment.
So if someone stops you and says, “Can I ask you a question?” – after enough stupid pitches from sidewalk canvassers, you begin to suspect EVERYONE who says this to you of wanting your money. And who can blame you – you get asked about ten times a day.
Anyway, I’m walking back to work from…where ever I was (Aldo, I think), and I can see some guy up the street, and I KNOW from the way he’s looking at me that he’s going to stop me with “Can I ask you a question.” I know without a shadow of a doubt that it’s going to happen. And it does.
And my response is, “Is this for a spa or babies or nature?”
And he just kind of gives me this stellar “WTF” face, so I explain the bit I mentioned earlier about people asking you for money and looking to sign you up for dumb crap. This boy’s “WTF” face deepens and he says, “Actually, I was just going to ask for directions to Water Tower.”
*Headdesk*
I am an asshole. I fail at niceness.
I probably would have done the same thing. When I went to school on State Street I would sometimes pretend to be on the phone so no one would try to ask me for money.
Hahahaha. So something I would be guilty of.
I hate people with clipboards.
You are not an asshole. My friend who made fun of a deaf person (she didn’t know he was deaf), she’s a bitch for doing that. When you get that many solicitations, you suspect everyone.
We get that a lot here in NYC as well. It drives me nuts. Once, when I rejected the obnoxious sales pitch of a salon promoter I was told that maybe I need to try a new salon (other than the one I told him I already patronized) because my hair looked like crap. Great sales pitch, dude. And because I was in a particularly bitchy mood I called the salon and told them what was said and who said it. He was fired. Hee!
Ha, at least you stopped! I pull out my cell phone and start walking in an I’m Too Important to Even Slow Down type of way whenever I suspect that I’m about to get bombarded.
Can’t blame you; I’m sure I would have done something similar. I’m nicer when I see people who are clearly lost in an area I actually know.
Served him right.
Free & Flawed -
I do that ALL the time! The Greenpeace people will back off and give you a high-five if you lie and say you’re already a member. But if those creepy “sponsor a child” people bother me, I act as if I am in the middle of a very important phone call.
Lacey -
Being an accidental asshole to a total stranger? We’re awesome.
Angela -
Or those people with the little spa booklets. No good!
Jessica -
That kind of reminds me of “My Name IS Earl” – when Joy gets the deaf lawyer and cracks up at everything the lawyer tries to say.
Dingo -
That’s AWESOME. Nicely done!
Nicole -
Smart call, I usually do the same, but he saw me before I saw him and had a chance to grab my phone.
Sequined -
Exactly, I will always try to help a really confused tourist with a map.
Apollo Creed -
You really think so?
You’re not an ass. You’re someone who lives in Chicago. I myself walk past anyone saying “Can I ask you a question?” Tourists should go with “Excuse me” while looking lost.
When I was in grad school, I told the Save the Children people “I’m in grad school. I can barely afford to feed myself.”
::insert foot into mouth::
p.s. can i also comment that on the bottom of the comment form it simply looks like this:
<<Jizz
hilarious.
Cheryl — I tried that and they were like “BUT IT”S ONLY $15 a month” … which, even though I’m majoring in policy/education, led me to say “I just don’t like kids. Leave me alone.”
It is so sad to resort to that.
When the “other” political people do their door to door campaigns, I just laugh and tell them they have the wrong house.
And when the Greenpeace people try to talk to me, I tell them my family owns an oil company. Which it doesn’t, of course, because if it did I would totally own some huge ass mansion in Texas rather than rent an apartment here. Just saying.
I did this to someone I thought was a telemarketer, but it was really just my dentist calling to remind me of my upcoming appointment.
I’m an asshole too.
Cheryl -
I’m not in grad school. But I’m totally going to start telling people I am.
Alexa -
I KNOW. And every time I look at it, I laugh. Because I am seven years old, mentally.
Amanda -
I too have gone the “I hate children” route. But I didn’t feel that bad about it because I DO hate children. For the most part.
Cap -
You’ve been hiding an oil company from us all this time? You asshole, buy me a pony with all the money you’ve been sitting on. PS – your girlfriend sent me a picture of the sweet bags set. I want one?
Kristen -
Holy hell. That’s awesome.
the bags set she sent you pics of is strictly for work things…we’re tiling one and painting the other to show the different uses and versatility of our cement board. HOWEVER, they are made of cement, so way too damned heavy and fragile to use on a regular basis.
If you want one, tell me what you want on it and I can build it for you.
Street vendors should not be trusted.
He should know that…